Coming from a girl who went 18 years without a single boundary and laughed when people asked what my boundaries were, this is a strange story for me to write. But I think I am the perfect person to write this article because I learned about boundaries from my therapist. They taught me how to implement them in my life. My boyfriend and I have both struggled with boundaries, so we needed to make sure that we have clear and healthy boundaries.
I find myself overlooking my personal boundaries, and understanding the importance of them changed my life. Until recently, I didn’t know what they were. But my perspective changed significantly when I entered a healthy relationship. I saw how it could change my life for the better.
Through therapy, I learned boundaries are not just lines drawn in the sand, but also pillars that define our relationships with others and ourselves.
This revelation has impacted my life in so many ways and it has played a significant role in my romantic relationship. My boyfriend and I both recognize that we have struggled with boundaries in our lives. Now, we prioritize the establishment of clear and healthy boundaries within our relationship. Commitment to each other’s boundaries is essential for cultivating trust, respect and understanding.
We communicate openly about our limits, and it has strengthened our bond into a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. Setting boundaries does not equate to building barriers; instead, it forms a safe emotional space where we can thrive as individuals and as a couple.
Life throws rocks at you sometimes, and I have been using the phrase “when it rains, it pours” almost every day. But this is why we return to the importance of boundaries. They allow us to assert our needs, especially during difficult times, promote mutual respect and foster an environment where open dialogue can succeed.
In a culture that constantly promotes selflessness at the expense of our well-being, it is critical to remember that setting boundaries is an act of self-care and self-respect. It may seem daunting to stand up for yourself, especially for those like me who have lived without them for so long. But, a simple way to start is something my therapist taught me. Go to the grocery store or go around your room looking at things and ask: “does this serve me?” and from there you can look at actions, people and ways of living the same way.
For anyone struggling with establishing their own boundaries, I encourage you to seek support, through therapy or self-reflection. The process is undoubtedly challenging, but it opens doors to healthier relationships and a more pleasant life.