Writer’s block happens to everyone. It’s frustrating, time-consuming and a surefire way to leave a writer crying in the shower. There’s no shame in it, but as writers, we can often be hesitant to acknowledge it, because that’s the job of a writer: to write.
I’ve been around the block before, so here are my personalized steps to curing this troublesome affliction.
Step one: Stare at your screen for a few hours, I recommend at least two. Don’t forget to get annoyed every ten or 15 minutes, that may be the most important part.
Step two: Grumble and groan while pacing around the room. Remember to make your pacing frantic and worrisome. That’s the only way to pace while having writer’s block.
Step three: Flare nostrils when you finally storm out of the room, annoyed with the world for not getting over this writer’s block.
Step four: Go get coffee. Flood your body with caffeine that fuels your anxiety about losing the ability to write. This will make the writer’s block worse, but at least you won’t be doing nothing, you’ll be drinking the nectar of the gods.
Step five: Stare at the ceiling while drinking said coffee and attempt to relax your brain. Don’t forget to dramatically sigh on occasion. The world must hear how depressed you are that you haven’t been able to write anything for several hours.
Step six, part A: Listen to music that feeds your soul. This is another form of fuel for the lazy part of your brain that doesn’t believe in working properly. I highly suggest crying during this step.
Step six, part B: If music doesn’t work, then find your favorite book and get to reading. Don’t just read it, absorb it—inspiration may just strike from reading a good book.
Step seven: WRITE. The lazy brain has rested and been caffeinated, now you can write, no matter how rough it turns out.
Step eight: Continue writing, even though your roommate is reminding you that it’s midnight, you’ve been writing for a few hours and you should sleep—warning: high chance your roommate will get annoyed when you wave them off.
Step nine: Desperately stay awake at your computer of choice. You’ve successfully gotten over your writer’s block, it’s worth fighting the sleep and using that inspiration.
Step ten: Collapse into bed and sleep. And when you wake– repeat steps one through ten.