Weekly Update on The Bachelor

Sarah Buchmann

Illustration: Sarah Buchmann

After taking a break from articles last week, I’m back with another round of highlights of this season’s The Bachelor

Last Week’s Episode (Feb 1):

  • Anna was called out for her rumors and bullying of other house members and got sent home. The first lesson that most preschoolers learn is that “actions have consequences”. Anna must have been sick this day, as she was shocked that she was sent home. 
  • Victoria was finally sent home. Many rejoiced at the Queen’s departure, given her toxic nature in the house, but she clearly did not recognize her own behavior. There were three toasts to the end of her reign. I, for one, was devastated at this news. I’ll miss my comedic relief. 
  • https://twitter.com/grockymountains/status/1356467526868365312 
  • Rachael (yes, the rumored racist) was given a one-on-one date with a shopping spree. She was incredibly giddy walking into the house with dozens of expensive shopping bags under her arms. No one’s really sure if she had time with Matt or if she was just falling in love with the clothes, but she seemed to have a good time.
  • https://twitter.com/acceptedrose/status/1356420392664104966 
  • The group date takes place on a farm, where the girls are up to their heels in horse sh*t. They complete farm chores while Matt and Pieper make out next to the barn. MJ’s golden mane grows in volume with rage. 
  • Kit gets a one-on-one where she and Matt try to bake cookies. I only say “try” because Kit reveals that she has never had to lift a finger for anything in her life, given that her mother is a high-end fashion designer and Kit’s life has been full of “golden Bentleys and red carpets” (yes, an actual quote).
  • https://twitter.com/nataliercollins/status/1356434305153703942 
  • Jessenia and MJ unintentionally postpone the rose ceremony to deal with their drama. MJ calls out Jessenia for speaking out against bullying and claims that she (MJ) “preaches peace and harmony”. The evidence to support MJ is lacking, Jessenia looks directly into the camera and breaks the fourth wall, and the episode ends right when Matt walks in to confront the two women. 
  • https://twitter.com/marishakishviIi/status/1356436099078488064 

 

This Week’s Episode (Feb 8):

  • We pick up immediately with the MJ and Jessenia drama. Jessenia tells Matt that MJ is not the cool chick she pretends to be, and MJ gets sent home. 
  • As the toxic spirit of the mansion searches for a new host, it lands on Serena C. She immediately attacks Katie, a fan favorite for weeks, for taking a stand against bullying and being open with her sexuality. Apparently being a moral and honest person is a reason to start drama?
  • https://twitter.com/michaelsramsey1/status/1358957131765022721
  • https://twitter.com/scde_de/status/1358953625691840517  
  • Pieper gets the one-on-one date, and Matt leads her deep into a dark forest with only a flashlight. I’m feeling some horror movie vibes, at least until Pieper flips a switch and the whole clearing lights up with a fully functioning carnival just for the two of them. Super cute idea, creepy execution.
  • This week’s group date was a bowling competition. As a member of IWU’s women’s bowling team, I would have totally done great at this. I was also appalled at the lack of technique these women used. Nonetheless, Serena C. got what was coming for her and her team lost.
  • https://twitter.com/JocelynAlmarazJ/status/1358962523144245250 
  • Katie’s one-on-one consisted of a Big Brother-esque date pranking Matt’s best friend and former Bachelorette contestant, Tyler C. Tyler received a massage while Katie and Matt suggested dirty things the masseuse could do and say. It was awkward, to say the least.
  • Despite meeting Matt’s best friend, Katie gets sent home. She handles it with the grace of an angel, saying: “I know what I deserve and I deserve a man who knows what I have to offer.” #Queen. Unfortunately, this just plays right into Serena C.’s toxic, bullying hand.
  • https://twitter.com/acceptedrose/status/1358970491260788738 
  • Throughout the entire episode, we’ve watched former Bachelor contestant and “never been kissed” Heather Martin try to return to meet Matt. Apparently Hannah Brown, who had quarantined with Matt and Tyler, thought that the two would be perfect together but didn’t bother telling either until the whole filming process started.
  • https://twitter.com/girlslikesnacks/status/1359004087144992770 
  • Heather interrupts a deep conversation between Matt and Pieper, and while Matt seems reluctant to let Pieper go, he looks at Heather like she’s a new Playstation 4 on Christmas Day. Pieper is furious and the rose ceremony is (of course) postponed again.
  • https://twitter.com/delia29720358/status/1358974050991767555 

 

Right now, I’m predicting the Final Four will be Abigail, Michelle, Serena P., and Pieper. It’s also rumored that Katie will be our next Bachelorette. As this season continues to move closer to the end, we still have lots of drama to look forward to. I’m just hoping that we’ll finally end an episode with a rose ceremony for once instead of these ominous cliffhangers. 

 

https://twitter.com/JooshIsTroosh/status/1356427319976599553