Cupids and Arrows

Editorial Staff

Illustration: Katie Fata

 

I actually have a boyfriend this year! 

Pandemic. 

 

 

Johnny helped us with this.

All he gave us was “Cupid: peepee, Arrow: poopoo.”

 

Peepee.

Poopoo.

 

You are getting laid tonight.

You are laying in bed taking a depression nap.

 

“Let me slip into something a little more comfortable. . .”

 It’s a mask. 

 

Kids in elementary school get to have their cute little valentine’s day parties.

They can’t exchange cute little valentines bc of COVID. 🙁 

 

 

You think you saw your soulmate across the quad.

Then they take the mask off…

 

You’re an astrology GF.

Mercury’s in retrograde this Valentine’s day.

 

Your ex-girlfriend just released her first EP and it’s really good!

It’s literally all about you.

 

He’s got a big bulge. 😉

It’s his nose. In his mask.

 

Hundreds of Tinder matches calling me pretty.

I don’t want to catch COVID or feelings so I refuse to meet up with them.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Argus!!