Bachelorette Week 3: The One Where Zach Gets Broken Up With By Chris Harrison

Sarah Buchmann

Illustration: Sarah Buchmann 

Welcome to Week 3 of The Bachelorette, where we finally get to Clare’s iconic teaser line: “Because I didn’t settle for men like that.” If you’ve seen any trailers for this season, you know it’s been advertised as one of the more dramatic moments, and it happened this week.

Yosef, who made his mark by getting into it with Tyler C. 2.0 on the first night and ultimately sending Tyler C. home, called Clare out for the overly horny strip dodgeball match from last week. 

I agree, it was inappropriate and certainly would have been called out if it had been a male bachelor asking for the women to strip, but Yosef took it to a whole other level. “I’m ashamed to be associated with you,” he yelled at Clare, then went on to say that she would be an “unfit mother” for his children. 

Seems pretty similar to what Clare said to Juan Pablo way back when, which completely set Clare off. We’re not really sure if Yosef sent himself home or if Clare told him to get the f**k out, but either way, he’s off the air. And I must give a shout out to the unknown contestant who said “Thank god” when he realized Yosef wasn’t coming back. 

Dale, Clare’s known favorite, swooped in like the Superman he is (or rather modeled as Party City) and made her feel all kinds of better. 

Bachelorette fans uncovered images of contestant Dale Moss modeling for Party City.
Photo: @cailindorothyb via Twitter

Clare cancelled the first group date, which was a bummer for the men involved, but still hosted the cocktail party, if only to see Dale. 

She’s completely invested in him, as anyone can tell, and it’s clear to the other men too. She pulled Dale aside early on in the night and took him back to her room at the resort – and it only got more awkward and steamy from there. 

Apparently Dale and Clare were taking their time with their tour of the bedroom, so the men left waiting decided to have a little search party. 

Eazy, the king of facial expressions and reactions, walked in on Clare and Dale all hot and heavy. “I’m gonna get so much for this,” Dale said, walking out, hands in a pretty concealing manner. 

There was even some audio of Clare talking to some of the assistants and saying, “Can we kind of hurry the rest along?” Clare has her eyes on one man only: Dale. It was even more obvious when she referred to him as her fiancé to a crew member, but isn’t that what every girl does after the third date?

Clare’s one-on-one date this week was interesting to say the least. She brought Zach J. on a date to the spa, and it was clear from the start that he was not into it. 

Zach J. was awkward with the pedicure, insecure about opening up and not at all ready to be alone with Clare. She leaned in to kiss him and supposedly he leaned away, but he held onto her neck in a rather threatening manner, which made Clare and all of us at home extremely uncomfortable and uncertain of what would happen next. 

Sure enough, Clare didn’t show up to her dinner date with Zach and Chris Harrison got to let him down. 

“If only Chris Harrison was my dinner date, perhaps that would cure my clinical depression.”

The men in the house weren’t surprised that Zach was gone, but they didn’t know the full story – they just thought Dale was edging everyone out. 

The men did not stop there with the anti-Dale campaign though. 

The second group date (you know, the one that actually happened) was supposed to be a roast geared towards all the men in the house. But of course, the only beef the men have right now is with Dale – he’s the only competition after all. Everyone was all Dale this, Dale that, until Clark Kent look alike Bennett walked on stage. 

The born-again Jay Gatsby made fun of his own wealth while taking his digs at Dale – something about how Dale might say he’s the “best suited” for Clare, but Bennett’s got the best suits in the house… Ah, Bennett. 

At the end of the episode, all of the men threatened to walk out because of how well Clare and Dale are getting along. And then we got a sneak peak of Tayshia Adams walking out of the pool, at this point my dad texted me “Who the f**k is that?” 

Can Clare just leave already, so this trainwreck of a season to move over to the masterpiece that we know Tayshia will give us? Hopefully the drama stops next week..and the fun will begin.